


Darkest before the dawn

by Sadfangirl



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 00:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4685750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadfangirl/pseuds/Sadfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Felicity has had enough. She can't take Oliver's behaviour anymore. She knows she has to get away and not be found.<br/>How will Oliver cope when Felicity is gone?</p>
<p>Major angst.</p>
<p>AU after 3x17</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkest before the dawn

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Arrow.
> 
> I wrote this a while ago, but couldn't work out one part. It came to me today, so it gets posted.

When Felicity went to see Lyla she made sure that John was away on one of his all-night missions with Oliver. She couldn’t risk anyone finding out what she was planning.

At first she thought she could be strong and just make the offer, but Lyla’s gentle questioning soon got to the route of her problem. Felicity wanted to disappear and she didn’t want to be traced. She figured the best way to do that was to disappear into ARGUS.

She explained at top speed with tears in her eyes:

“I just can’t be here in Starling anymore. Oliver tells me he loves me then says he can’t be with me. So I try and move on with Ray and he messes that up for me was well.

Do you know I had to quit my job because of Oliver? Ray blamed me for Oliver punching him and acting like a jealous idiot. And then wouldn’t listen to me when I tried to tell him that Oliver and I had never gone anywhere – he didn’t believe me – said there was too much passion. Well if there was, I didn’t get any…"

"So he doesn’t want me, but makes sure no-one else can come near me. I’ve had enough of all of this. I never want to see either one of them again”

Then Lyla asked “But why ARGUS, you could go anywhere, work for anyone. I’m sure Star Labs would love to have you”.

Felicity explained “No, he’ll find me. You know he will. He’ll go all Oliver and beg me to come back and how much he needs me and then it will start all over again. I love Oliver, but I just don’t like him at all at the moment. I need a clean break.”

Almost on cue Sara started to cry, sensing she was losing someone who loved her.  But Lyla understood and handed her to Felicity to calm her while she made a phone call.

“How much time do you need to sort everything out?” Lyla asked.

“Couple of days, I could have everything done by Friday” Felicity replied.

After some negotiation with the unheard voice Lyla said “I’ll be waiting for you outside the Foundry at 5pm on Friday. I’ll tell John that I have to work the weekend so I can get you settled”.

“Thank you” said Felicity, who then burst into tears.

* * *

Oliver walked into the Foundry on Friday night with apologies on his mind. He’d avoided Felicity for a couple of days, hoping she’d not be so angry with him.

Both Diggle and Thea had given him grief at the way he’d been acting lately. Thea had told him that he didn’t deserve his blond IT girl, that she was far too good for him and that he’d be the biggest idiot ever if he let another day go by without making things right with her. His behaviour towards Ray was fuelled by jealousy and he’d acted like a spoiled child. She wasn’t his, well not yet anyway. He could be Oliver and the Arrow, Thea told him, they'd help him find a way, together.

He wasn’t sure exactly what he was going to say, but Thea told him to be sorry, not make excuses and beg for forgiveness. 

He’d made sure that they got time to talk. John was at home with Sara because Lyla was away and Roy was working.

As he walked in he was surprised that it was dark. She should be here.  Digg said she was covering this shift. But his motion set off the computer monitors and he saw her face with a Play button in front.  Fear gripped him, what was going on?

He pressed play and watched.

 

 

> “Oliver, I’m sorry. No, I’m not sorry, I’m not the one who did anything wrong. OK, start again. Take a breath and 3,2,1.
> 
> I can’t do this anymore.
> 
> And by this, I mean all of it.
> 
> I’ve loved you for a long time, but you kept giving me hope then broke my heart so many times I gave up. I tried to move on, but you didn’t like that either.
> 
> Then, you behave like a spoiled child to Ray, ruining that as well. Did you know I had to quit my job because of how you behaved. No, you didn’t, did you. He was ready to have you arrested.
> 
> Poor Oliver, all that time on the Island, the broken hero. We must excuse his shitty behaviour.
> 
> Well I did, so many times. And you expected it. I know it was hell for you in those five years. I’ve tried to help you, we all have, but you just do what you want without a thought for anyone else.
> 
> You go off to see Ra's al Ghul, not once, but twice and take Digg with you the second time. He has a family and you could have got him killed. I know you were saving Thea but come on Oliver, there were other ways.
> 
> So as I said, I’m done. I'm so angry with you I can't see straight.
> 
> By the time you see this message I’ll have left Startling City for good. I have to get away from you. From all of it.
> 
> I can’t watch you destroy Oliver to feed the Arrow. I can’t die down in the dark with you and you won’t let me help you live in the light.
> 
> Don’t try and find me – because you won’t. You know better than anyone what I can do.
> 
> Tell Thea, Laurel, John and Roy that I’ll miss them and I’ll check up on them from time to time.
> 
> I love you Oliver Queen.
> 
> Goodbye”.

 

* * *

 

Oliver stood in shock. He felt as though he’d been kicked in the chest. It was as though he could feel his heart breaking.

She was gone.

* * *

 

Felicity looked out the window of the plane that was taking her to her new life. Lyla said they were going to Alaska, to the ARGUS base there. She was all cried out. Her pain was written on her face and Lyla didn’t know what to say. But she respected this young woman and knew that she had done the right thing for her.

* * *

 

Roy found Oliver sitting on the floor in the Foundry the next morning. His eyes were puffy with tears and he looked wretched. Roy quickly got Thea who looked for clues as to what had did this to her brother. They quickly found the video and watched it. Oliver started sobbing again as her words cut him to the core. She was right. Everything she said was true.

He’d blown it. And he’d never get the chance to fix this mess that he’d made.

* * *

 

John Diggle could tell when his wife lied to him. And he knew as soon as she got home that she was hiding something. When he told her about Felicity’s leaving she said all the right things but he could tell she knew more.

When he asked her if she knew anything and she answered “what makes you think that I’d know anything” – not a lie, but not answering the question either.

 

But John Diggle was worried about his friends. He’d watched Oliver and Felicity go from employee and boss to friends then partners and equals. And then he watched as they both very slowly fell deeply in love with each other. It took so much time and neither noticed what was going on until it was too late. Heck, he knew what they felt for each other before they did.

 

And now she was gone. And it seemed that Oliver had disappeared as well. His light was gone. And as time went on he became ruthless when dealing with Starling City’s criminal population and Diggle was worried that it wouldn’t be long before Oliver killed someone.

Oliver had told them not to look for her, but Diggle and Roy would not let this go. They’d find her and bring her back. But she really had disappeared. Katlin had exhausted all of Star Labs resources in searching. Laurel had Nyssa contact her League contacts to see what they could find out. There was no trace.

Diggle soon realised that the only group that could hide Felicity this well was ARGUS. He knew that organisation had coveted Felicity’s skills for a long time. Had they finally got her? Was that why Lyla was hiding now.

Finally, John confronted his wife. He asked her directly “Is Felicity with ARGUS?”. 

She looked softly at him. "John, soon I'll want you to ask me that question again, but just not yet. I'll tell you when. Please trust me."

 

* * *

 

Lyla had been keeping an eye on Felicity. She was watching her young friend get stronger every day. She was so immersed in the work she was doing she didn't notice herself get better. Lyla knew that she had to heal before she could be of any use to anyone else. Her sense of humour was returning, and she even smiled when they talked.

 But she also watched her husband worry about Oliver's downward spiral. She knew that the only way to fix Oliver was with a fixed Felicity. If Felicity was still broken and angry then she wouldn't be able to help.

 

* * *

It took 2 months.  Finally Lyla knew that Felicity was ready.  She was starting to ask questions about Starling City. Never about Oliver, but she was keen to hear about her other friends.

So that night Lyla turned to her husband and said "Do you have a question you want to ask me John?"

He was shocked but asked again "Is Felicity with ARGUS?"

She answered honestly “Yes, she begged me to get her away. So I did”.

He paused then said:

“Where is she?”

“No John, I’m not telling you that. You know I can’t.”

“Did you help her, you were gone when she left, where you with her?”

Lyla nodded. “She begged me not to tell you. She was distraught. Plus, if I didn’t help she’d have gone to Waller and we’d never be able to get her out”.

“Oh, you mean we can get her out?”

“Yes John” sighed Lyla “I’ve made sure that when it’s time she can come home. But she needed to get away. She was so overwhelmed with everything – she just needed time to heal herself”.

“But Oliver” cried John

“Oliver, nothing” said Lyla “he brought it on himself. That poor girl’s heart and head had been messed with so much she was lost. Maybe he’ll see now just what was in front of him."

“So, how do we get her back then?” asked John. His wife smiled at him sweetly and told him her plan.

 

* * *

 

Oliver returned from patrol and saw Diggle sitting waiting for him. It was late and he was surprised to see his friend. Their relationship, like all his current relationships, was strained and in his current mood he didn't care.

John seemed to send a text as soon as he walked in the door and asked Oliver if they could talk once he had got changed out of his Arrow gear.

 

* * *

 

Felicity was shocked to see Lyla at her room door. She was not expecting anyone at this late hour. She hadn't been sleeping, she didn't really do that anymore, but she wasn't expecting anyone.  

"Can you come with me to the control room Felicity, there's something I need you to see, you're the only one who can advise me on it"

Felicity nodded, puzzled.  

Lyla was happy to see that her young friend looked healthier.  She seemed to have healed herself and started to put herself back together.  

Lyla sent a text and then the screen lit up.  Felicity gasped as she saw the Foundry, with Oliver and Diggle there.

 

* * *

Oliver sat down. He didn't know what Diggle wanted, but he wished he would be quick.  He had no time for anyone these days.

Diggle started talking.  "Oliver, she can see you.  Felicity can see you right now.  Look into the monitor.  Tell her, tell her what you want to say to her. She's listening". 

Oliver looked at John in disbelief.  He was desperate for it to be true.  That she was there, that she could hear him.

"Felicity" Oliver murmured softly "Felicity, are you really there.  Can you really hear me."

He waited for a reply.

John reassured him. "She can't answer where she is Oliver, but I promise you, she can hear you" 

Oliver spoke more clearly, trying to find the words that he had buried so far down.

 

 

> "Please, I'm so sorry.  Please come home.  I can't...I can't do this without you.
> 
> There's no light anymore, I'm in the dark, I'm drowning.  Please.  Show me the way to the light.  
> 
> I was so wrong.  I was on my way to apologise, to make things right.  Ask Thea, ask John, they'll tell you.  But you left me, alone in the darkness.   
> 
> It was my fault, I pushed you away because I was so scared.  Everything I've loved has been so corrupted. I couldn't bare for you to go down the same dark path.  
> 
> So I pushed you away, because I don't deserve you. I don't deserve the happiness you could bring me. But I'm selfish and spoiled and I love you so....."
> 
>  

He turned to Diggle "She can hear me, can't she?". Diggle nodded.  

He turned again to the computer monitor pleading "Please come home".

Oliver collapsed into sobs.  

* * *

Felicity turned to Lyla, tears in her eyes. "Can I talk to him?"

"No, sorry, only one way. But, the jet is on the runway and ready to leave.  And your stuff should be packed and on the plane." Lyla stood up, saluted her friend and stated "Ms Smoke, thank you for your service to ARGUS, but you are relieved".

* * *

Oliver sat alone in the darkness.  The only light was the monitor that he hoped would have carried his message.  It had been hours since he'd sent out his plea.  It was almost morning and he'd have to face another day soon.

He heard soft footsteps. He didn't look up. It was probably Diggle back with coffee. 

But then he heard her voice, say his name so softly, almost like a kiss.  Was he dreaming, had he finally fallen asleep? 

Then a soft hand touched his cheek.  

He looked into her blue eyes and smiled. For the first time in ages.  

She took his hand and led him out of the Foundry.  Into the new day.

"I think" she said "it's time to start living in the light" and she leaned up and kissed him softly as a new day dawned.

 


End file.
